Day 1

I am not incredibly proud of my eating today. My workout wasn't that great either.

I will say that today was incredibly stressful.  All I did as far as working out was Level 1 of Jillian Michael's 30 day shred. For a person that is 154, they say it burns 180 calories. For me, I'd say it was only about 160.

I ate:

• hemp cereal with skim milk--> 300 calories. 
• 2 prunes- 44 calories
• 2/3 chobani mango yogurt with 1tsp of raw oatmeal and 1/4 tbs of wheat germ--> 128 calories
• white bread with butter---> 200 calories
• 4 oz grapefruit juice---> 50 calories
• 25 pistachios---> 100 calories
• 1 grapefruit--> 100 calories
• a bit of the concord grape raspberry V8 fusion-->  20 calories

Total: 942

I know, I know. The bread. What was I thinking? But I was what you would call hangry. I was to the point where I was pissed off at everything and everyone cos my blood sugar was so low. I had to remedy that and it was the only thing around at work.  I will choose something better next time. Fruit, perhaps? I'd brought a pomegranate but I left it in the car :/. Plus, in a situation like that, it's not fast enough.

Anyway, let's get to the part where that is far too few calories for a day. I eat at least 800 more than that on a normal day. Easily. Which is actually the problem. Today was just a bad, bad day. I do not recommend this for weight loss. Trust me, I've done it before. I want to be thin and toned because it makes me happy and being hungry all the time made me, well, kind of an unhappy bitch. A constant state of "hangry". No good.  Working out on that little food every day is just impossible. I may eat a little bit later but I still haven't shaken the stress. I'll let you know if I do. (Update: The grapefruit above is what I ate when I chilled out a bit. I love love love grapefruit. Two foods I eat almost every day are avocado and grapefruit. Yesterday, my avocados weren't ripe enough so I had to skip out but usually I eat a whole one on a salad or just with a splash of seasoned rice vinegar. Soooo good)

I have done pretty much everything in the world to lose weight. Healthy and unhealthy. 

I've done:

• Atkins- That lasted about 2 days. I have never been a big meat or protein eater.
• Juice fast -3 days. I was always hungry.
• Anorexia- always hungry, depressed. I wasn't great at it, thankfully.
• Bulimia -a huge problem with this is you justify eating so much crap because you know you won't keep it. This is bad if you want to change your food intake and eventually make good choices. Oh, and the million other health problems associated with this.
•  Alli diet pills- These worked for a few months. The best part about it is you are so scared to crap yourself (I did my research before I bought these) that you do not cheat. There was no way I was going to risk that. :) Eventually, however, it stopped working for me. I have also heard they aren't really great for you. I don't know if this is true and I don't feel like researching this because I no longer take them.
• Vegan- although this wasn't so much for the weight loss. It did help me lose a lot.
• Soft food- this I did for 3 months after I had to get TMJ surgery, not as a choice. I know a lot of weight loss blogs say to chew gum but I don't recommend it. It was a huge factor in me having to get a very painful surgery. I didn't even chew gum for weight loss but just because I loved it. Anyway, the surgery sucks and having to eat soft foods for 3 months got old.
• A million other things that I don't even remember.

Currently, I am a pescetarian. I eat fish even though it's very rare. I'd say I eat vegetarian about 6 days of the week, often 7. I do not buy bad food for the house. I have nothing "bad" at the house. I have lots of fresh vegetables and fruit,  whole grains, cage free eggs, light cheese. At home, if I'm hungry, I just get a snack that I have.  If I had bad things, I'd eat them. Instead, I have to choose fruit, or vegetables, or yogurt instead. At work, it's another story. There are just so many sweet foods and sweets are my weakness. This is my biggest obstacle and I am trying hard to not be tempted by all the sweets. 

I also don't push myself. I cannot work out by myself. Not hard, anyway.  I need a trainer, a class, a partner, etc. I just don't have it in me yet to motivate myself. At least I make myself go to a workout class at least 6 days a week. I'll get there, eventually. I have made myself start running. I didn't do it today because it started raining when I was going to go and I didn't have the time to go to the gym and do the treadmill before work.  Tomorrow is supposed to be nice so I am hoping to do so. 

I'm bored of writing. I'll update tomorrow.