Back to counting calories

I can't seem to budge from 117. I have been lazy and not watching what I eat or counting calories. I'll be back to it today. I've even been precisely measuring everything.

Banana with 3/4 TBS crunchy, natural peanut butter- 175
Kashi cereal with 1/2 cup skim milk- 140

More to be updated by the end of the day.

I hurt myself doing pendulum lunges yesterday. I'm not great at lunges but I can manage them if I do them slowly. Unfortunately, when doing them in a class or following some on a video, they do them much faster than I'm comfortable with. Two crunches in my hip yesterday and exercise time was OVER. I'm not sure what I'll be able to do today so I'll update on that.

I hope to get to 113 by NYE. This isn't seeming incredibly possible.

Injury

There are plenty of workouts people can do with injuries but it's a nice excuse to have when you don't want to do something. I could totally use my current injury to help me fail or to find a new way to succeed.

I woke up at 117.2 today. Not great. My poor eating habits come at night with the help of alcohol. I'm ravenous after half a glass of wine! I see why eliminating alcohol from your diet causes you to lose weight! If only concord grapes were still in season, I'd be eating those all day and not even a creme brûlée could tempt me!

Anyway, last night I burned the HELL out of my hand. There was a bit of crying involved and Clint had to go get me some burn spray but it's feeling alright today. After all, I am able to type. With the blisters on my hand, however, it's pretty much impossible to lift weights. This means I get to do my least favorite thing in the world - cardio!!! I bet I will start seeing the pounds melt off with that although the Bob Harper cardio is a bit daunting.  I'll let you know if I can even finish it!

WHAT?

OK, now this is getting a little insane. 117.4 lbs!  Ummm, WHAT?

I never ended up exercising last night :/ but I think my insane workout at the gym today should help make up for that. All this exercising is making me SOOOOO hungry! I want to eat all day long. Never again will I put a workout off or sleep as late as I did yesterday.

I ate too much today.

1/2 smoothie
banana
rice cake
KIND bar
black bean chili with smart ground
clementine
avocado with rice vinegar

I don't even want to add up all the calories. Ugh. So disgusted with myself. How do people have control when it comes to food? I never have and I never will. I'm just glad I mostly have control over my exercise these days.

What the hell should I do to try to get down from 117.4 lbs!?!?!?

Bleh

Still paying for the shame spiral I went through the other day. What is it about eating unhealthy one time that makes it so hard to get back on track. Yesterday I had cookies with milk. And it wasn't just one cookie, it was 2. I guess it's like people addicted to cigarettes. After going cold turkey, any cheating can lead to a really unhealthy shame spiral until you get sick enough of it to go cold turkey again. Today, I was craving sweets and ALMOST went for a piece of the Halloween candy (I don't have much. I really only keep it for the times when my blood sugar is just soooo low that I need something QUICK to pick me up) but instead I went for a delicious mango. Much better choice!

 I weighed 117 today :( :( :( but I did weigh myself after a bowl of cereal so maybe that added SOMETHING.

My biggest disappointment today is that I woke up sooo late. As in, I wasn't out of bed until about noon. I originally woke up at 8:2o but I knew Clint wanted to keep sleeping so I figured one more hour wouldn't hurt. Unfortunately, my hour was about 3 and a half. :/ Although a solid 8 hours of sleep is good, too much is such a waste. By the time I finished cooking and ate, I didn't have time to let my food settle before leaving the house for the night. But I'm not gonna skip my workout today. I'm doing what I HATE to do which is workout around 10:30 :/. I can't let myself make these kinds of mistakes and keeping track of what I'm doing is just helping me learn.

If I'm not too tired, I may be brave enough to start one of the Bob Harper DVDs tonight. If not, it's still gonna be Jillian and I'm gonna move on to Level 2 cos I feel level 1 getting easy.

Jeidi, you'd be proud. For lunch I made black bean chili that had fake meat AND lots of beans so it wasn't too high in calories AND it had crap tons of protein :). I also had it with a glass of skim milk with vanilla protein powder.

Shame

I went into a bit of a shame spiral. Last night's quesadilla/queso/chip/guacamole shame spiral jumped me from 115.2 on the scale to 116.4. It's going to take a lot to lose that. ugh. So not worth it! I'm so bad when I go out to eat. It'll be good to see how long it takes me to get down to 115.2. Maybe that'll teach me not to have such a shameful dining experience.

I've kept up with the exercise, thankfully. I feel Jillian starting to get easier so I need to start the next level. Bob Harper DVDs came in today!!! I'll try them tomorrow since I went and did a KILLER class at the gym today.

Protein

Luckily, Jillian Michael's workout isn't hard to memorize because Clint and I went to the gym yesterday and I did the whole workout from memory. It was nice to be able to do it at the gym because they actually had 5 lb weights so the moves I do with a resistance band at home, I got to do with those and it was much better.  I also did a 10 minute walk/run but my calves hurt too much to keep going. They are feeling much better this morning so I think in a day or two I'll be back at it.

Yesterday, I really tried to add more protein which caused me to eat when I wasn't really very hungry.

• 2 pieces of whole wheat toast with sprinkled habanero cheese, scrambled eggs, half a tomato, baby kale, and 1/8 avocado- 400
• grapefruit- 100
• oikos blueberry yogurt with oatmeal and wheat germ- 200
• banana with peanut butter- 195
• 4 oz skim milk with a  bit of protein powder- 70
• 1/3 glass cabernet-40
• salmon with "chimichurri" sauce (in quotes cos it's not a true chimi) 350
• ginger mashed sweet potatoes-- 200
• 3 large olives- 21

Total: 1576

Today I think I will start tracking my protein intake. I will probably use the LIVESTRONG MyPlate to do so. It's always been good with helping me keep track of what I'm eating and how balanced it is. It really is a great website that i need to go to more. I usually keep this great black bean hummus made at all times but I've skipped out recently so I'll remedy that. I also love Smart Ground and tofu so I'll try to add more of those meat substitutes to my diet.  It really is so hard for me because I don't think about protein very much. But I guess this whole journey is about being more aware of what I put in my body so that'll take some work.

I woke up at 115.4. Meh.

Yesterday was Day 3

I was too tired to update when I got home.

Food:

• Clint and I went to Marche and I had a cauliflower, red pepper, and spinach quiche with grapefruit juice with a spring mix salad with oil and vinegar. 800 calories
• 2 pieces of 100% whole wheat toast with 1/3 less fat cream cheese---> 220
• banana---> 100 
• I went to a wine tasting and had a bit of egg nog while I was there :/. Whatever, it was good. I love wine. And I discovered that Neil Ellis Sauvignon Blanc is awesome although I still prefer a heavily grapefruity NZ Sauvignon Blanc. 350

Total: 1470 calories

I did the Jillian DVD yesterday. It's getting increasingly painful because my calves are just so so sore! I wish I had 5 lb weights cos doing her workout with 8s is pretty damn hard! I'm hoping the Bob Harper DVDs come in the mail today! It'll be nice to try out what he does but I am pretty satisfied with the results I am getting so quickly with Jillian. After all, I woke up this morning at 113.6 lbs. Down 2.2 lbs!  I can actually see it too! My love handles looked slightly smaller and so did my pooch.